Today was definitely interesting.

I woke up and drove to work. At about 8 AM, my vision started getting wavy as I looked at my computer screen. I have been having an issue with my blood pressure being too low, so I trekked down to occupational health at about 9 AM for them to check my blood pressure.

As I sat there, I lost my peripheral vision in my left eye. It was, in a word, TERRIFYING.

My blood pressure was slightly elevated for me, but then, anything over 100/60 is elevated for me.

The nurse suggested seeing a doctor ASAP. I have been searching all week for a family doc, but haven’t been successful. It was off to urgent care.

I got to urgent care about 10:45 this morning. I was seen by 11, bypassing the rest of the patients in the waiting room. This was awesome as I started to tear up in the waiting room due to the nausea and extreme headache that had developed.

The doctor was very kind and did a thorough exam and history. He thoroughly checked my eyes and did a neurological exam (including a stroke test… yay! for EMT classes in undergrad). They did a bunch of tests. And after a medical assistant tried to find my veins for 20 minutes, another person finally drew some blood.

All the tests came back normal.

Eventually the doctor returned to me and explained that he believed I was having migraines. He thinks they are aura migraines based on my vision symptoms. He gave me some medication and my pain level decreased slightly.

I have to schedule an MRI and do a follow-up. Good times since MRI’s in the past have given me such intense headaches that I’ve stayed in bed for three days each time I’ve had to have one. Should be awesome!

The doctor refused to allow me to go back to work, so I headed home and did some work. Then slept for the rest of the afternoon.

Now, I just have pressure, but no pain. Yay!

I’m feeling a whole variety of feelings right now:

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I’m sure if I tried, I could write about each of the feelings on the chart, but for the sake of time (and my sanity), I am going to refrain.

However….

Things are seeming to be on the up and up with me. And I am incredibly thankful!

Despite how hard things have been lately for me, I know that this will pass. Things are not always quite as difficult as they seem and end when you think you are about to break, you can still go on. It’s amazing how resilient the human body and spirit are.

I have much to be thankful for! My awesome boyfriend got a job and is moving down here with me in two weeks. My coworker (a certified personal trainer) wants to work out with me beginning next week! I have an absolutely adorable kitten (Zoey-girl). I am finally feeling more motivated to continue nurturing myself to reach my goals.

I love my life!

I have come across a couple of blogs lately who are participating in this project. From what I can gather, it is called the 101 in 1001 project in which you set 101 goals you want to achieve in the next 1001 days. This is roughly 2.75 years.

There is a lot to be said for goals. I’m definitely a goal-setter. I may not always achieve every goal I set, but I do try. Sometimes just reaching for a goal sets the ball in motion so that other parts of your life begin to work more in concert, helping you to reach other goals you’ve set for yourself.

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At any rate, I think that 101 in 1001 is a great concept and I’ve started a list of my own. I don’t know that I want to make things strictly time bound in that they must all be completed in the next 1001 days or if I just want to complete these things in the next 3 years. I just celebrated my 26th birthday on the first of the month and I feel my birthday might be better and easier for me to remember. I haven’t set just how many years I’d like for my list, but possibly three years. So, essentially my 29th birthday!

As I work on this project, I’d like to direct you to a new page on my blog… The List. I’m hoping to get at least 100 things on my list, but until then I’m going to start plugging away at what I have so far.

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I’m very excited about this project!

What kind of goals would you like to complete in the next 3 three years? Do you have a “list”?

… to peanut butter.

It’s almost out of control.

PC and I spent the day in Hershey, PA yesterday. We had discount tickets to HERSHEYPARK and visited with the park with 3 friends of ours.

It was a gorgeous day!

Sadly, none of us had any energy.

We still rode roller coasters, but spent nearly 2 hours at ZooAmerica and another half hour or so at Chocolate World. Such is life.

By the end, PC was super sick. So we went home to our friends and got changed. He napped and the rest of us went to Red Robin for dinner.

It was a good day!

Tip: NEVER buy full price tickets for amusement parks. Yesterday, we paid $30 for our tickets that retail over $50. Many places have coupons or agreements… you just have to look!

I moved to Maryland two months ago.

My Prince Charming is moving here on October second.

I’m VERY excited. I’ve been missing him like crazy the past 2+ months. The phone just isn’t the same!

I’m thankful that things are finally falling into place.

This summer has not been good to me. I mean, with family drama, moving, starting a new job, I’ve had a lot on my plate.

I’ve forgotten how to take care of myself because I’ve been so worried about taking care of everyone else.

I recently decided to take a break from Weight Watchers until the end of the month. I feel after two and a half years, I need an official break for a bit. This doesn’t mean I’m not calculating points (its almost automatic now), but it does mean that I am listening more to my body about what it wants and how to best fuel it. To that end, I’ve been having a little peanut butter most days.

I never craved peanut butter the entire time I was working the program, but now, I find myself having a spoonful most nights. Odd.

Delicious.

I’ve been trying to reincorporate activity back into my life as well. The move was super hard in terms of breaking my 3-4 times a week gym routine (I REALLY miss Zumba and Kick-boxing!). I’ve fallen off the wagon hard-like. I’ve run a couple of times since the move, but nothing lasting. I’ve been thinking about the best ways to love myself and exercise is definitely a big part of that.

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I’ve been toying with going to a ballet class for a couple of weeks. I’d really like to go next week, but we’ll see. My cash flow situation needs to improve ASAP (who knew that electric companies could get away with charging $400 for a darn deposit!!!!). Hopefully with my next paycheck I can get everything squared away. YAY.

So right now I am focusing on loving myself and treating myself with kindness. It’s definitely a switch for me! I feel like I’ve completely lost myself the last few months and that this might be the best thing I can do for myself right now. I fully plan on returning to WW’s at the end of the month, but this “break” will allow me to focus on my feelings towards food and hunger signals as well as how my body feels during exercise.

As extra motivation, I am signing Prince Charming and myself up for a 5K race on Halloween! I’m really excited and I think it’s an awesome (non-food, non-weight related) goal!

Have you ever had to stop and refocus your life back on yourself? How do you show yourself love?

I can’t believe it has been so long since I posted last. My life has been out of control. I mean out of control like “more than I can handle”.

I really need it all to stop.

The Good:

  1. My job is going super well and I’ve gotten more work and a new project.
  2. Prince Charming is still keeping me around.
  3. Zoey-kitten is adorable and awesome.
  4. I’m in the process of losing weight again.
  5. My health insurance finally kicked in.
  6. I can take my meds again.

The Bad:

  1. A. was an inpatient on the psych floor for 5 days.
  2. A. is now at a rehab facility.
  3. A. needs to grow up, take care of his mental health and addiction and stop trying to destroy my family.
  4. I’ve missed 4 days of work in the past two weeks.
  5. I miss my apartment.
  6. Prince Charming tried to break up with my for adopting a new cat from the Humane League (she’s 10 years old and crazy thin… I love her).

That’s pretty much all that’s going on. Dealing with A.’s crap has been not-so-fun. Staging interventions is also not-so-fun. I am hopeful we are on the up-and-up right now but you can never be sure.

I just want my quiet life back!

At any rate, the sun is finally shining and we are heading to a firemans’ festival tonight with chicken corn soup, ice cream, and old-time games. I love it and can’t wait!